FRIDGE MAGNETS
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
A bird in your hand will poop in your palm.
A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.
A hug delights and warms and charms, it must be why God gave us arms.
A hug is a great gift... one size fits all. It can be given for any occasion and it's easy
to exchange.
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen and this kitchen is delirious.
A successful marriage isn't finding the right person-
Adults are just kids with money.
All people smile in the same language.
All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.
Although you'll find my house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be
amused.
Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal
lives.
Do what you can, for whom you can, with what you have, and where you are.
Enjoy the little things. One day you may look back and realize... They were the big
things.
Everyone needs to be loved... especially when they do not deserve it.
Evolution created anchovies. Human stupidity put them on pizza!
Feelings are the breath of human heart.
For every minute you are angry with someone, you lose 60 seconds of happiness
that you can never get back.
Forbidden fruits create many jams.
God has not promised sun without rain, joy without sorrow, peace without pain.
God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts..
Grudges are like hand grenades: It's wise to release them before they destroy you.
Happiness is enhanced by others but does not depend upon others.
Harsh words break no bones but they do break hearts.
He who is good at making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
Help keep the kitchen clean -
Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark.
Housework done properly can kill you.
I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.
I clean house every other day. Today is the other day.
I don't need your attitude, I have one of my own.
I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.
I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my children would you like?
I only smile cause i have no idea what's going on.
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...
I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!
I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.
If a lion's roar isn't getting you anyplace, try a bear hug.
If all is not lost, where is it?
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you can bet the water bill is
higher.
If there were no grief to hollow our hearts, there would be no room for joy!
If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy!
If you can't be a good example -
If you don't like my standards of cooking ...lower your standards.
If you fill your heart with regrets of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow, you
have no today to be thankful for.
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
If you treat someone like a dog, they are likely to pee on you.
If you write in the dust, please don't date it!
If, we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
Indigestion is what you get when a square meal doesn't fit in a round stomach
Inside every older person is a younger person -
happened.
Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up
with cookies.
Into each life a little rain must fall..... but we could use a little less snow.
It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse.
It is better to keep your mouth shut, and look like a fool, than to open your mouth,
and remove all doubt.
It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
It isn't difficult to make a mountain out of a molehill just add a little dirt.
It never hurts your eyesight to look on the bright side of things.
It's hard to make a come back when you haven't been anywhere.
It's not "when animals attack" it's more like "when stupid people get bitten".
It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.
I've learned to accept birth and death..... but sometimes, I still worry about what
lies between.
Just bring me the coffee and nobody will get hurt.
Keep smiling! And...if you see someone's missing one.. give them one of yours!
Kids in the back seat cause accidents. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
Kindness is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
Laughter is like premium gasoline -
Live each day as if it were your last. Someday, you'll be right.
Love cures people -
Love is the only thing that can be divided without being diminished.
Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!
Motherhood: Boundless joy surrounded by bottomless pits.
My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!
My next house will have no kitchen ... just vending machines.
My second favourite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the
top bunk bed until I faint.
My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a
leg to stand on.
No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
Normal around here is just a setting on the dryer.
Nothing ruins the truth like stretching it.
Oh Lord, Please make my words Sweet and tender, For tomorrow...I may have to
eat them
One word of encouragement brings more than a thousand thoughts... Never
expressed.
Raising a teenager is like nailing Jello to a tree.
Red meat isn't bad for you. Fuzzy, green meat is bad for
Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself!
Silence is darn hard to come by when you have kids!
Smile... It may not make you feel better, but it's sure to make someone else feel
better.
So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust!
Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, and faith looks up...
Still water runs deep when the toilet over flows.
Talking is sharing -
Thank God for what you have, Trust God for what you need.
The best way to get even is to forget.
The choice you make today will usually affect tomorrow.
The mighty oak tree was once a little nut that held its ground.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
The real measure of a man's wealth is what he has invested in eternity.
The softer we make it for our kids, the harder the life they will have.
The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right next to them knowing you
cant have them.
There's a wonderful method of relieving fatigue caused by over work: It's called "REST".
These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter... I go somewhere to
get something and then wonder what I'm here after.
Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for.
When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another
country.
When you brood over your troubles, you will only hatch despair.
When your heart hurts, you need use your head.
Which do I need more? To pull myself together, or let myself go?
Yes, I've heard of "decaf." What's your point?
You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.
You can't turn back the clock, but you can wind it up again.
You'll notice that a turtle only makes progress when it sticks out its neck...
You're just jealous because the little voices don't talk to you.
Some to Live By....Some to Laugh At....Some to Relate To …..
Some Just Best Ignored
NO ! -