PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY
Ode To The Pillsbury Doughboy
It is with the saddest heart I pass on the following:
Please join me in remembering a great icon -
spokesman. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast
infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was
71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs.
Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the
Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The gravesite was piled high with flours. As long-
Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who
never knew how much he was kneaded.
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled
with turnovers. He was not considered a very "smart" cookie,
wasting much of his dough on half-
little flaky at times, he even still, as a crusty old man, was
considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought
he would rise again, but alas, he was no tart.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John
Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also
survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.