CLEANING HINTS
Windows:
Layers of dirty film on windows and screens
provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun.
Call it an SPF factor of 15 and leave it alone.
Cobwebs:
Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb,
thereby creating a romantic atmosphere.
If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting,
simply look confused and exclaim,
"What? And spoil the mood?"
Pet Hair:
Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways
by claiming you are collecting it there to use for
stuffing hand sewn play animals for underprivileged children.
Guests:
If unexpected company is coming,
pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door.
As you show your guests through your tidy home,
rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say,
"I'd love you to see our Den,
but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."
Dusting:
If dusting is REALLY out of control,
simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that,
"This is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes."
Painting:
Don't bother repainting.
Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons
and try to muster a glint of tears as you say,
"Jr. did this the week before that unspeakable accident & I haven't had the heart to clean it."
General Cleaning:
Mix one-
Mist the air lightly.
Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations.
Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself on the couch and sigh,
"I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere.