1 cup of water

1 tsp baking soda

1 cup of sugar

1 tsp salt

1 cup of brown sugar

lemon juice

4 large eggs

1 cup nuts

1 bottle Jose Quervo Tequila

2 cups of dried fruit


Sample the Quervo to check quality.


Take a large bowl,

check the Quervo again,

to be sure it is of the highest quality,

pour one level cup and drink.


Turn on the electric mixer...

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure the Quervo is stillanother cup ... just in case


Turn off the mixerer thingy.


Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl

and chuck in the cup of dried fruit,

Pick the frigging fruit off floor...

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers

just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Quervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.

Who giveshz a shit.

Check the Jose Quervo


Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.

Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.


Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl in the sink,

Finish the Jose Quervo and find someone to dance with.

FRUIT  KAKE