TURKEE
Strategically place foil over areas you wish to remain white.
Baste as u
sual.
.and if you burn it be thankful because..
Salmonella won't be a concern.
Everyone will think it's some exotic Cajun blackened recipe.
Uninvited guests will think twice next year.
Guests will have a newfound appreciation for your cheese-
-
Pets won't pester you for scraps.
No one will overeat.
The smoke alarm was due for a test anyway.
Carving the bird will provide a good cardiovascular workout.
You'll get to the dessert course faster than ever.
After dinner guests can take the bird out to the yard for a rousing
game of football.
The less turkey Uncle Horace eats the less likely he'll be to walk
around with
his pants unbuttoned.
You won't have to face three weeks of turkey sandwiches.