If no one sees you eat something, it has no calories.
When drinking a Diet Coke with a chocolate bar, the Diet Coke cancels
out the fat in the chocolate bar.
When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat
more than they do.
Food used for medical purposes does NOT count (for example: hot
chocolate, toast, cheesecake and vodka).
Cinema related foods have a zero calorie count as they are part of the
entertainment package and not counted as food intake (this includes:
Popcorn, mints, Maltezers, Jaffas and frozen Cokes).
Biscuit pieces have no calories because breaking the biscuits up cause
clorie leakage.
Foods licked from knives and spoons have no fat if you are in the process
of coking something.
Foods that are the same colour have the same amount of fat. Examples
are:
spinach and peppermint ice cream; apples and red jelly snakes.
Chocolate is like a food-
other color.
Anything eaten while standing has no calories due to gravity and
density of the calorie in facts research suggests it may have calories if
you eat it while standing at the sink.
Food consumed from someone else's plate has no fat as it rightfully
belongs to the other person and will cling to his / her plate (oh, how fat
likes to cling!) each will cancel the other out.
Anything produced, purchased or intended for minors is calorie-
hen eaten by adults.
Anything eaten in front of the TV has no calories. This may
smething to do with radiation leakage, which negates the calories
If you have a drink in your right hand, anything eaten with the other
hand has no calories.
Girl Scout cookies, bake sale cookies, ice cream socials and church
Strawberry festivals all have a religious dispensation from calories.
Leftovers -
Anything intended for the garbage has no calories
ABOUT CALORIES