IT'S TIME TO DIET WHEN ...
After ordering lunch at a fast food restaurant drive-
Is delivered to your car on a hand truck.
On a recent Caribbean cruise, the captain ordered you to stay in the
center of the ship.
People decide to wait for another elevator after they see you entering one.
The left side of your car seem to bottom out a lot.
There is a restraining order against you by the Association of All-
-
Within the last month, have you burned out more than two refrigerator
bulbs.
You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor gives you
22 more years to live.
You break out in a cold sweat when you realized you were more than a
mile from the nearest Taco Bell.
You could sell shade.
You dance and it makes the band skip.
You disappear and they have to use all four sides of the milk carton for
your picture.
You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts.
You learn you were born with a silver shovel in your mouth.
You need an appointment to attend an 'open house'.
You put mayonnaise on an aspirin.
Your blood type is Ragu.
Your driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side."
Your fork is suddenly missing.
Your neighbourhood grocery store offered to send a limo to pick you up.
Your picnics in the country involve renting a U-
Your street always seem to have more potholes than other streets.
TIME TO DIET